Thursday, April 21, 2011


Dear Men,

( The ones in my family...and yeah all those who relate to it or personally feel this post might ; in some way be a revelation of the sordid truth of their masculinity.)

PS : ( Disclaimer: It is in no way to hurt your towering male egos. No matter what you shall be indispensable :P...And so this is dearly dedicated to all those guys,chauvinists.(pigs??!!) )

I am putting up a very brave front...ahem...I am putting forth in detail whatever I may have muttered under my breath in the history of my 22 years of existence. As much as my fingers ache to type this down as a ubiquitous truth ; I shall only point out my personal observations.

I come from a patriarchal family.My grandfather,a strict disciplinarian also nurtured a huge male ego which of course passed down to his seven sons.For all the men in my relation everything they did and still continue to do; surpass excellence !( and the female species are surely inefficient ).Whether they cook-"God save you! you children will definitely chew your fingers off ! Just wait till you taste my sambhar." followed by the apparent- "your mum doesn't know how to cook... worse.. I taught her how to :P "

OK??!!! so men( ahem... in my family... I don't want to be badgered by the entire male species. I do know of some really wonderful ones outside my own clan :P ) do know how to cook and so goes for cleaning the house , washing the clothes , shopping wisely , operating the banks."Oh here we are - The supermen.Its our forte' ."

" Stock markets; well you won't understand. Why bother?"

"Rock and metal- definitely not for you.Why don't you go and listen to Hillary Duff."

" Die Hard- ahem.. we guys are going out for it.(read: "Excluding you, because of the simple rule-u're a girl ")

" WWE- Whoa no way, its not for dainty ones like you. Even watching it might just chip your nails. "

"Cricket- Please don't ruin my moment of solitude with the television with your lingering feminity."

[ A special mention about my bro Gautam-

PSP and Gameboy: Dude!! you cant learn still happen to be a girl." (Hah!! I dismiss it for teenage turbulent period :P )]

And last but not the least chauvinism unleashed during the act of driving. If the car goes slowly-it's a woman.If the car doesn't pick up at green-it's a woman.If the car doesn't give way- it's a woman.If the car coughs and stops in between- whoa, it's confirmed,it's a woman because men think that women just can't drive as well as them.

And as my dad is confronted about this he dismisses it and comments on how much we woman criticize , crib and gossip( though I hate to admit it albeit it's true when he says " Women,that's your forte' ."Ahaan..there I snigger away to myself... Men, ye know not but ye practice the subtle art of it :D)

PS again : This has been a part of my drafts during my early workings with the blog. It was and still is dedicated to my Mum, my aunt, and my sister who have endured :P. No! , this , in no way means we are complaining. We are just amused at how amusingly amusing you are. To the most important men in our lives ( Sridhar, Vinod, Gautam and Aditya). We love you.

Yours Sincerely,

Not a feminist-"yet if need arises to protest against male-ism mental atrocities" enthusiast.


Nipun said...

Well, I agree and disagree...
I agree that men do crib about all that women do (especially what was only limited to men earlier e.g driving). And they do possess egos about being superior to women.
This is deep rooted in our culture. The reason is that in earlier times, it was the men who had access to world class education and all the "best of the class" facilities that families could afford. It was true even for the royal families where only men were educated. So, slowly men came to believe that they are superior to women. But the fact is that they hv just been lucky!

Mindsets started changing when women started earning. Well they only "started", they are still ongoing.
As an example,
Till around 8 years back, people did not prefer to have a bride who was working even in a "modern" city like Delhi and NCR.
However, now it is quite acceptable and people in metro cities have realised that their daughters need to be educated too. However, in towns and villages, mindsets are yet to change.
It is this intermingling that does not make society to accept that women are equally good as men.

Having said that, it is on the part of women also to reduce the divide between men and women. To cut a long story short, "men and women cannot be equal till there exist a reservation for women in buses/metro".
It is a fact that women relish these benefits that they enjoy but still crib about not being treated equally as men.
In fact, India is one of the very few countries where there has not been any movement for granting equal rights to women. They enjoy equal rights as men since independence. Even in the USA, women did not have the right to vote till quite a few years.
P.S: I am not being chauvinistic, just being realistic. Any criticisms are most welcome :)

Mallika said...

Wow, Nipun, I am so flattered for having received such great reviews on my post.. Firstly I would like to thank you :) Ok and after I stop being formal that is :P, I totally agree with you over the fact that the divide can be reduced only if there is no reservation. Yes we have a society where men always occupied the frontline while women were in the shadow. Though now we have great women who are leading organisations and spearheading movements. It is commendable. I also feel that the modern man has become very encouraging though still certain sections of the soceity still feel that the women are fit for only certain jobs which is very stereotypical. Speaking of my family, I know that I am lucky to be born in a household where there is so much of voice ones views and concerns as well. It was purely in jest that i wanted a take on men. I am sure all women love the way men are made and at times they would give their life and soul for all those very things which a man would want them to do, Be it their father, brother or husband. To ponder over all this is beautiful. Thanks for the food for thought :)

Nipun said...

Mallika, I know that your intention was in true jest. But the facts mentioned were real and genuine.
Men vs women is probably the most debated topic on the planet. Although people fight over(literally) over this topic, I think it is not a debate at all. The fact is that men and women are both masters of their own game. Its like comparing Sachin Tendulkar and Roger federer, both are masters of their own game but they can't be swapped!
Talking of things like patience, women beat men any day.
Similarly, men are god gifted with better physical strength.
None is complete without the other.
Feminism/Chauvinism is baseless. Since facts were genuine, I thought you were the person who could understand the situation with an unbiased mind.
And you have proven me right. :)

Nipun said...

And I think this was a great post.