Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I had a vision..

I have got over my phase of viewing reruns of episodes of my favourite superhero- Superman. However somewhere in the subconscious he still dwells….and probably that was why I recently dreamt of having X-ray vision. Now, one wouldn’t want to ponder on what are the advantages..ahem of having this peculiar boon but this has definitely made me open my eyes to the vision, I lack (leave alone X-ray; I don’t have the normal night vision too). I hear that constant cackle of complaints around me against bad haircuts, dentist nightmares or for the matter of fact- the chubby syndrome( a polite term for the obese). I on the other hand feel as if the whole world around me is a bad television.

Having stuck in this myopic stage since a tender age; my eyes have been caged behind frames of a myriad kind. Having a deep disgust and disregard for them, my ‘callousness’ ensured that they never lasted too long(read: losing them in water; I guess you wouldn't want the details.... or getting repeatedly smacked on the face till they fall off etc etc..) How I wished it was the same with the ‘geek’ and ‘nerd’ name-calling.

And as I broke another pair and ruined my lenses(unintentionally of course ; wink) I realized it had its advantages too…

1.       You can always look through certain unwanted entities and if confronted can blame it on bad vision.

2.       You can avoid work (people ‘politely’ refuse to let you carry things around, college blackboard not visible=no need to take down notes).

3.       Source of pity…a way to get attention (you need to squint in an orderly fashion to convince).

However my reader’s will agree with me that nothing’s better than to see the world in its full colour and grandeur with the miracle that has been bestowed upon us…as Ruskin Bond truly puts it…”The eyes have it”.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Gossip Girl(s)

I've been living in the hostel for almost three years now and I thought it worth my while to document a widespread affliction amongst girls viz. gossiping. Now, the dictionary defines gossip as "casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true", but in the hostel it becomes much more.
Now, the victims of gossip are of myriad kinds, but the ones who act "too big for their shoes" or the ones who are oh-so "la-di-dah" are the preferred ones. Any girl with exceptionally good hair or a flawless complexion or an attractive physique or anything remotely good about her will undoubtedly become the butt of various speculative conversations, the main aim of which is, without exception, to list her hitherto non-existent "flaws". So, somebody with good hair might actually be talking to 4 different boys at odd times during the night, information courtesy "the girl's room-mate's friend's room-mate's sister who is a junior and is living nowhere close to the girl in question" , but surprisingly we are ready to believe such a "reliable" source with such vicious faith - its actually quite cruel. In fact, there's nothing more macabre than watching a group of girls gossiping away to glory, the result being that somebody who was "miss goody-two-shoes" till yesterday might now be referred to as a "wolf in sheep's skin". You have good skin? - you must definitely be having exceptionally intolerable B.O. ; you have a good dressing sense?- it obviously means you have an attitude problem; have a good physique?- liposuction anyone?; you get good grades? - you use people as a ladder to get to the top; you name it - they have something on you to bring you down. Now, you might be thinking that gossiping is limited to those out to get each other - you could not be more wrong! Its amazing how much your best friend talks about you behind your back and rest assured - she's not eulogising you. I have to hand it to such girls though - the kind of things they can gauge just by giving you a cursory glance - "oh the one with the silver earrings? Yeah, she's a kleptomaniac" - they don't even know your name yet. So, this is an ode to all those girls who gossip to spice up their otherwise monotonous lives - character-assasination being their sport of choice!