Monday, January 18, 2010

Bitchin' Kitchen

Some call it overconfidence and some call it foolishness... I usually go by the saying..what goes at the top does come down at some point or the other.. Probably my creative stagnancy was too prolonged or the fact that I have had too many random thoughts in my head that went away like wisps of smoke( I have been away from the writing scene for some time now, read: almost half a year) but this incident was something that just had to be put down.
Well the whole thing started with the realization that turning 21 is not a very pleasant situation.Ahem!! the fact that I have received a reluctant nod for certain things in life like the subtle acceptance that nothing can be done if I decide to let my hair down socially( read: alcohol in measured amounts). On the other hand there are certain other things being pursued with a fierce enthusiasm.( read on)
So the theme revolves around the kitchen,the place which I despise the most and is the least visited sector of my home.( I am usually found eyes shut,face down,under covers in my natural habitat that is called the BED; ocassionally I can be found loitering around reading something and the maximum activity that I show is of munching edibles around the dining area. This, I talk of, the pure bliss days right now) And so it is that whenever I am in this elysian phase, it is shattered by polite digs at me by my mother and paranoia expressed by my grandmother at my lack of kitchen activity.( This is being said with a lot of spite and bitterness!!!! for dramatic effect)
I am a very peaceful person or call it MALLUISM as coined by my friends; but it usually takes a lot to perturb me deeply.So you can imagine my plight when I decided to enter the threshold of the "kitchen".
And so at the god thanking prayers and smiles of the ladies ,the omellete was added on to my list of 'cook to survive items' ;the only other being maggi.
The biggest battle started when the tougher things came about and since the challenging stakes and feminist egos were at their highest: my time=my domain was the simple rule.
I would rather not put it on god's mercy but my own "haath ka kamaal" for three superb attempts at the 'dosas' , peas curry and 'kovakkai'( tamil) or 'kundru'( ivy guard in english which I just found out courtesy the mighty google).
Having done this my parents left me at my mercy to experiment with the delightful world of tastes and smells.So my days at home, alone were spent in making rectangular,triangular,square 'chapattis' with roasted,cracked and rockhard variants of it. It was that fateful eve when I cooked a decent 'dal' all alone with instructions from my mother over the phone.Probably the fact that I managed to pull it off all on my own( without a vary eye from the sidelines) and that my father and his family appreciated it( being people of few words and praises) I decided to show my 'expertise' at it once again.

17-1-09
It was three days after Pongal and it just suited my fancy to make sweet pongal for myself and my friends( read: this is called overexcitement)
Having being completely confident of the recipe,which is easy let me assure you;I created the worst disaster ever in south indian history.

Learn how to burn ;) :-
250 gms rice and 100 gms moong dal to be cooked in a cooker with 31/2 cups of water
add 250gms milk and 200gms jaggery in it.
stir well and add dry fruits for taste.

How on earth it went wrong I still cannot fathom!!!!
It was dirt mud colour and well the taste ahem!! was burnt jaggery.
Yes, I am left with a sympathising friend, a bowl full of bitter something-that- gives- me-shivers-when-I-look-at-it,and utensils which shall keep me occupied for a week.
Take a look at it..Dont go by the chocolaty color of it or the fact that it tastes like bitter dark chocolate.It is neither.





Do I feel morose? Not at all..except for that longing friend of mine who was expecting me to spin out some miracle.On the other hand I expect a reprimand and a warning never to enter the kitchen again, at least alone!
Suits me!!!..as long as further 'hand for marriages' suggestions by the family doesnt come along for the 'poor 21 year old me' :D

9 comments:

Rajesh Balaji said...

Self praise never does good.. Who said that the 'dal' was decent?? :P The 'decent' was only for the 'decent' by first effort standards and not the 'decent' by normal standards.. :D Plus if you have the 'Natesanian' blood in you then it might do you a 'world of good' in the kitchen.. :D

mallika said...

1. I have turned temporarily deaf to what you say..I just heard your mum and stopped at that :P

2. You are lucky to have been biting your fingers off at the "best first dal" that I cooked..contd

3. ...as you shall not be invited to further "delicacies" that I brew up which may not be for some time to come :D :D :D

4. Want to have some 'pongal'? Ill save you some..We shall see who changes their opinions on the 'dal' bit then :D

nikhita said...

i really cant comment on this because im the same boat as you...in fact im not even in a boat yet :P ... but seriously, that "thing" you clicked a picture of...I bet its going to give me nightmares :D ... Still, im sure you have it in you to whip up something remotely edible one of these days :P ... unless they banish you from the kitchen for life before that :D

aditya said...

u got some guts to look at that "stuff" , put it in a plate and click at it! okay i assume u did not look at it while serving but you must have while clicking. Please put a note above ur post which reads: please read at least 1 hour after a meal or if you want to kill hunger.

Was that disheartening? Dude!!! try making a missile or finding a cure for AIDS but for god's sake don't cook!!

mallika said...

ROTFL :D
Now that you have said this..tu aa toh sahi and the only thing you shall get to eat is only and only south indian( your fav ;P) cooked by me..so its for you decide fast on your preferences..
reminds me very much of kashmiri dum aaloo at the moment..please please stir it up..you dont want me to die at the hands of my cooking? ;D

mallika said...

@Aditya: Ok??!!!Dude, I know culinary skills are not my cup of tea but yes I still maintain( with an air of dignified presence for dramatic effect) that it was a 'wee' bit of overconfidence that spoilt the 'broth'. :P
well looks like you have given me an idea : might work of well if weight reduction is on your mind( killing the hunger part) :D

nikhita said...

haha...you want to die at the hands of my cooking??? will be glad to help :P

arunabh said...

For the old faithfuls, I believe a home cooked treat is definitely due! :)

mallika said...

oooooo ooooo yeah!!!:D :D atleast somebody wants to eat ghar ka khaana( woh bhi mere haath ka right?)..sure arunabh..whip it up for you sometime :)