MALLUISM

It's wait for it....

This post goes out to the one who coined this phenomenon..(Anu)

Too much addiction to something leads to hazardous consequences( I wonder what course of action I will take) anyway...she has lately been obsessed with the tv sitcom How I met your mother.( The more I see it,the more I adore Barney and find Lily and Marshall irritating a la Ross and Rachael as aforementioned by Nikhita in the post Whatup!?.As for Anu she has probably seen..(I have lost count) some of the episodes again and again and AGAIN...12th of second season,last of second season etc etc..The phenomenon probably sprung up from the sitcom,which is my guess.

And so my name was used as a verb a la ' poor Ted ' . Some of the conversations in which my name..ahem pet name featured in were-

1."Why are you looking so Mallued?"     :

When someone enters into the dream state mode and gets cut off from the conversation.

2. " Don't be such a Mallu about it"        :  

When someone gets particular and particular and  PARTICULAR and finicky.

3. "Mallu wali baat kar di na yaar!!!"     :  

OK this is getting embarrassing. I am feeling the heat now.

 For someone who enters into idiosyncracy.

Enough of getting myself butchered on a public site.As I was saying Anu after having suffered the 'pains' of tolerating me in my full blown element(read: irritating her on purpose.I seem to derive inane pleasure out of it;pause for devilish grin;and secretly I know she finds my nautankis cute) 

MALLUISM  was born.

And it has become a way of life for my friends..live life a la Mallika style.(snigger!!)

PS:- Even though I know that things seem wrong when I am not addressed as Mallu but, but....rolling my eyes. 

Not your rolling wheels....part III

And the final installment..

It has been nearly 6 years( yes that long!!) since I rode the Kinetic and somehow I never seemed to miss it or have pangs of longing, looking at others( even though my sister has had the fun of her life riding her's.Read: crashing into backside of cows and donkeys!! true story)

On a more serious note, I realized I needed a bike, when I came to Pune for my studies.Every one had it( and I did not succumb to peer pressure) but when the rates for taking a rick skyrocketed( It's also quite tedious to travel by bus) I decided to plead to my father( read: fight, argue and try to get my way).

But as you have gone through the past two reads,it is not easy to get my way around dad.

And I end up walking most of the time( at least the nearby places)I trust in it more strongly than ever now.

So daddy felt bad that maybe I was getting deprived of certain opportunities.

This led to waking me up at 6  in the morning on the first day of my after the semester holiday,in the freezing Delhi winter( and when I enquired grumpily, he answered about wanting to take me out for a morning walk???!!!!) After much protest and a rebellious fight he got me out of the house for his walk(!!!???)

All wrapped up in woollens I reached the porch of my house to find a car waiting with a vacant driver's seat and my father sitting beside it smiling a toothy grin.

Of course I was excited,apprehensive.It was an amalgam of emotions.I took to steering the wheel and maybe it was the first time I felt like I was flying.

The days went by...After I got the hang of the clutch and the break, the real test awaited me. It was no more '6 in the morning' drives for me( thank god!!!). It was worse.Now I took out the vehicle at 6 in the evening( boohoo).

Believe me; it was worse than my bicycle lessons and kinetic lessons.I thought  I was good at multi tasking but this??

The clutch.Gear change,clutch,break,accelerator,slow speed-gearchange.Clutch.Speed breaker,gear change,clutch.Crawling slowly in traffic jams.Rearview mirror,sideview mirrror!!People swerving past,changing lanes( which is irritating,even though they know you are a learner).

And dad not meting out; shouting out instructions( it's the most difficult when he teaches how to drive the car).

The finale' is yet to come...

It was two days before I left for Pune and dad caught me casting a longing look over to his car.I had never driven it and truthfully, was scared of it. Magnum Optra was huge and unpredictable to a rookie.

My father coaxed me to take it on.( read: getting butchered).

It ended with me crashing in on three cars at the same time.

( wait for it..though this was a spoiler..I must admit, with apologies to my not so modest nature, that I drove 6-7 kms beautifully(reversing,parking,u turns etal) and the one thing that my dad had not taught me...

YES ! and if you haven't guessed by now- THE SLOPE driving using the handbrake and once I neared the gates to my home, I could'nt get it over the ramp and there it goes.I end up giving scratches to three huge cars.My father averted further bankrupting damages by pulling the handbrakes on time.For the first time in my driving experience he grinned back. Maybe he was expecting it...I still cannot fathom what he thought.I got ripped off by my mother.My conscience torn to shreds.)

And here I am back in Pune now longing to take the car( magnum flies, literally!) on the highway.I had to learn the difficult way and this time round it will stay for sometime to come...

I am not your rolling wheels.....

I am the highway.

Mallika

Not your rolling wheels....part II

As I approach that gate along the dusty sidewalks of Indore, it brings back distinct memories. I look around sheepishly and just try to vanish into 'oblivion'.

In history; with time ,the motor was introduced.The manual sweating out decreased and man started experiencing bliss in the form of comfortable travelling.
I had moved on from the tricycle, bicycle to the Kinetic Honda.Oh yes, my teenage years saw me wearing a big smile on my face as I rode away to glory. My training started in Indore, as usual under my father who religiously sat pillion and meted out instructions.

(This was the time when I went into those "ignoring you" modes. Believe me, one feels great when the cool wind blows across your face and hair . You are speeding away into the infinite and all you have to do is to press the accelerator.)

Funny, that it sounds so picture perfect.(Of course it would when all the road belongs to you and you are driving at 6 in the morning)
So when, again my father left the vehicle to me and over that( I don't know why he does this to me) he helped my overexcited 4 year old kid brother to the pillion; I knew my fate was sealed so was Gautam's.
History was yet again repeated.But this time round, my grandfather's Kinetic got scarred for life. It would have all gone well had the darn slope not been there. (These slopes have nearly ruined everything. And this time round the story does'nt have a 'happy' ending...it ends in absurdity).
My bike was slipping off and I could do nothing to control it.( I was going against the ramp..ok I want to give it a different name...) After 15 min of frustrated accelerating I finally managed to pull it out on the road after which my brother hopped on.
The brat was so exalted about me driving him around,that he kept on jumping in his seat all along the bumpy road.( No dad around, was already giving me the jitters..he was walking on foot, a good distance behind us)
And yes I gate crashed..literally; thanks to Gautam's fidgeting. He fell and fortunately did'nt get hurt. I fell with the bike and pushed the accelerator . The tilted vehicle pulled me along with renewed vigour and ended its fateful journey by leaving a dent on the wrought iron gates.
All the scandalized people pulled up my howling brother( he did'nt even get as much as a scrape) and all had their glaring eyes upon me( they did'nt even pick me up from under the weight of the vehicle!)
By then my father arrived shouting his head off at me for not pressing the breaks and for putting my brother's life at risk.

( Ok; so where did justice die?! That's what happens when 'daddy' is not there to supervise, when that is his prime job and unnecessary brotherly additions as pillion riders)

I still am not comfortable riding a bike... I have forgotten probably and haven't tried renewing those skills since then. As for now I really enjoy pillion riding.
And the Kinetic? Its back there in Indore wrapped up in a dusty sheet. All this has not only put an end to my glorious bike riding future( I went back to my bicycle) but also tainted my grandfather's reputation.( The gate belonged to the school where my grandfather was the chairman.The talk is still doing the circles)

More to come...
Mallika

Rab Ne Paise Waste Karaaye :P

Ok..before I write anything I would like to confess that I'm not a huge SRK fan...wait let me rephrase that...I loathe (read I barf whenever I see him) SRK...So, with all due respect to all the fans out there...this article might seem a little biased ( really, you might want to stay away from it altogether). So anyway, I went to see this movie because well I had no more classes that day and had nothing better to do ( I repent that thought till this day). Now, with my past experience of SRK movies, I was obviously not expecting much from the movie - really, I had gone fully prepared ( read I had left my brains at home). But, apparently even that wasn't enough to survive this one. So, while SRK "ji" dished out his oh-so-adorable ( retarded anyone???) lines for miss High Flying Tani "ji" ( sure, she looks good- but I mean that's why she is in the movie right? - we don't really expect actresses to really "act" now do we?), I sat cringing in my seat, wondering who to curse more - myself or the people sobbing away to glory all around me. Well, to tell you the truth, I too was crying - at the lack of story, the pathetic dialogues or the lack of them ( really, after every 2.5 dialogues, the actors burst into tears...Boy, YRF sure stocks a lot of glycerine)...But wait, not all was downhill with the movie - the saving grace was Vinay "maccccccccchhhhho" Pathak who delights with his comic relief act. He's really become comfortable with comic roles. OK that's enough...now back to where we were...yeah movie-bashing...so I would really like an explanation as to how a wife doesnt recognise her husband after a really not-so-dramatic makeover...rab to aisi jodi na hi banaye jisme wife husband ko pehchaan hi na paaye...and the very predictable ( monotonous) end literally brought me to the end of my tether "ji"...So, my new year resolution is very obvious just like a SRK-Aditya Chopra movie end - NO MORE SUCH MOVIES FOR ME.
Adios
nikhita

Not your rolling wheels...part I

Lines from " I am the highway".


This is one of my favourite numbers by Audioslave, however it has nothing much to do with this post except for having stirred my imagination to write something remotely related to it. So as I listened to this number pensively, I realized how much I admire the sweet lord for giving us humans; legs.... Yes, because I have learnt to rely only on those, having been through some unfortunate incidents early in my life.


( Though I must say that later when I pondered over them, I was guffawing all over the place)


So it happens that the child learns about the faster means of travelling and I was introduced to my very first tricycle.

I managed pretty well. Ofcourse everything was right about it.( supports et-al) My legs too would touch the ground incase... Nothing much happened around it with the exception of some scrapes and bruises which again was because of my rash driving( It's true, It's true. Children pick up all this wrong stuff at a very tender stage).

Next came the bicycle and I did'nt like it much. I was shedding silent protest tears when my father removed the supports from them.

( And probably I will branch off just a wee bit to tell you that when it comes to" modes of transport" practice sessions with my dad..It is terror unleashed. He however maintains that this grim look makes the children learn.I wonder whether he still thinks that when I execute the crashing sessions)

So the practice arena for the bicycle was ; oh my god; nothing short of the skateboarding ramp.I still remember vividly the road outside our house in south Delhi, so hilly! you could actually fall off the edges. And everything goes fine till my father has an eagle's eye over me. Once he leaves it to me(groan!!)...( this is the last day usually, for all practice sessions).The worst wound of my life( it scarred my knee) was when the bicycle whooshed down the slopes to nearly kill me. My hands and legs flailing in mid-air, it managed to dump me off in a thicket before continuing on its free spirited ride.

As I wiped off the tears pouring down my muddy face, I resolved to conquer that wild spirit.

And so it was done.My final practice session crash made me a pro( humble apologies for my modesty) at cycling.

The story however continues....

Till then

Mallika

What Up?!

If the title of this post did not ring a bell in your mind, I suggest you read no further - just for the simple reason that you won't comprehend the emotions stuck with this phrase...and for those who do recognise this phrase...well, all i can say is that you're LEGEN-"wait for it"-DARY...yup, I am talking about that fabulous sitcom of all time - How I Met Your Mother...And for all those Friends lovers , I just have two words for you - Barney Stinson...there is no character on any sitcom which comes even close to this fella...He really is a class act - his nonchalant attitude, his "on-the-go" wisecracks and of course his never-ending obsession with...wait for it...HIMSELF makes him truly endearing. And moving on to his friends, Marshall and Lily ( and let me say this for the last time - Marshall is way more intelligent than dim-witted Ross) - they make a sweet couple without all the overt emotional brouhaha; Robin (a favourite with the boys I'm sure) - she portrays the character of the professionally inclined woman with that "missing ingredient" in her personal life with ease...and finally we come to Ted Moseby - yes the oh-so-cute guy-next-door ( do i hear the girls go "awwwwww"?). Together, the six of them create a LEGEN-"yes, i know this is the third time i've used it in the blog" - DARY show which never fails to crack me up - and for all those of you who are still stuck in the Friends mode- rise and shine folks, this really is the 21st century...no seriously I'm not kidding- its time to stop watching the repeats...I mean really, i hate to burst your bubble but mugging Joey's lines isn't going to get you a girl ( im sorry if that hurt :P)...and Phoebe's inane acts and dialogues aren't cute - I'm pretty sure they indicate a negative IQ...so all i can say is- get a grip on reality and go watch the "Barnicle(TM) treat" - you will really be doing yourself a huge favour. As for us long-time fans, all we can say is WHAT UP!!!!!

PS: Well, since I need a new identity to sign off ( so that I don't get ripped off by the other "contributor" to this blog...talk about creative plagiarism)...I guess I'll keep it as....nikhita (surprise!!! OK i know that was a bad one...)
Adios Amigos

The Legend that is LOTR

LOTR - The mere mention of those 4 syllables bring a wave of excitement, wonder, amazement and other indescribable feelings upon me. The Lord of The Rings is without doubt my favourite movie till date. I know that it is very difficult for people to mark a particular movie as their favourite but for me LOTR is the exception. I simply can't find anything wrong with the movie. For starters , it has an amazing story - thanks to the incredible power of imagination of Mr. Tolkien. But, for me, the real magic of the movie lies in the way that the movie has been brought on screen - its like a portrait on celluloid. Peter Jackson is one hell of a director and has done a commendable job with LOTR.The movie has been flawlessly executed. The cinematography is breathtaking and its like all the characters of the movie come alive on screen. Even the most unimportant of characters has been dealt with perfectly , and Mr. Jackson's attention to detail is simply astounding. Also, despite all the special effects the movie boasts of, the larger-than-life landscapes, the seemingly unreal premise of the story in today's context - the movie manages to harbour a lot of simplicity, thus making it all the more beautiful. Its a simple tale of friendship, love and honour and the fact that all the special effects and other "distractions" do not take that away from the movie is an evidence of the film-making prowess of the director and his entire crew. Also , the actors in the movie are outstanding. Everybody has done a phenomenal job but my personal favourites are Sam, Aragorn and Gandalf. Sam's friendship ( which is bordering on devotion) with Frodo is highly touching and the last 30 minutes of the Return of the King always manage to move me to tears. Aragorn is honour and chivalry personified - a resplendent figure on the battlefield with wild, flowing locks of hair, armed with nothing more than a sword and hope in his heart ( and of course , he looks HOT) - he evokes emotions in me which are of too complex a nature as to be specified in words. And then , Gandalf the Grey - the beacon of all things good - never once does his age manage to overpower his zest for saving the world. LOTR truly is a phenomenon and will never cease to be - it really is the epic of our lifetime.

I Had A Dream...

"Sapnon se bhare naina, to neend hai na chaina" - These are the first few words of a song from the movie "Luck By Chance"... The song is indeed beautiful, with a very strong Indian classical influence and has been rendered exceptionally well by the extremely talented Shankar Mahadevan...Anyway, I'm not going to talk about the acoustic aesthetics of the song here. The afore-mentioned phrase just sort of stuck itself somewhere inside the depths of my subconscious brain and continues to force me to evaluate the status of the dreams that I once had... And on that particular list, I seem to have accomplished nothing and the funny thing is that its not because I haven't been able to fulfill my dreams but because I've somehow managed to forget what they actually were...I know it sounds cliched when I say that we had loads of ambitions and dreams when we were kids - some unrealistic, some highly impossible - yet we were dreaming...we were evolving. But now, my life is stuck between the Networking lecture I have to attend today and the Compiler lab assignment I have to submit tomorrow and and Physics test next week...So where is the time to dream? Or have i stopped dreaming to stop myself from being disappointed when those dreams fade away like words on the sand? We are supposed to be engineering which in literal terms means to innovate...to imagine...to dream. So, is this rut of assignments that I'm stuck in really engineering? Because if it is, I'm sorry to say it really is a fruitless pursuit. I know for one that my intellectual prowess has, if not diminished, stagnated. I once read somewhere that "Dreams are not those that you see when you sleep...Dreams are those that do not let you sleep"...poignant words those. So, maybe my brain has gone into "slumber" mode without my realising it.

Prayer...

I pray, pray with so much of faith, for my grandfather; to get well soon.One of my greatest idols,my life without him will be bleak.And I am scared to admit that I am scared.I hope that my hope sees its end.I pray for his will to make him pull through.May courage never leave us and our prayers be heard.

      I love you so very much, K.Ramachandran, my dearest 'Thatha'.

Words

Maybe I have been reading too much of fiction or the cancerian(read: dreamer to the limit) in me has become effusive; for a few days back I was thrilled to find a small yellowing piece of paper with five lines in the most lucid and ornate cursive.

With a liking for antiques and sometimes,as a child having dreamt of finding something long and forgotten in some dusty volume; the very thing happened when I stood on tiptoe to take out a '64 edition oxford dictionary from the bookshelf.They were written nearly thirty five years ago by my uncle.

These are those lines:

Watches tick the minute away;

Clocks strike the hour;

With the sands of time running out fast;

One day,we hope to sit back and think; 

"Of a life well spent,in sweet content."

Words touched me.Words failed me. 

And the mundanities continue....

So the' first ladies' got hooked and booked  by their respective first men.And probably following that they are being cooked or cooking their respective spouses...(bang: back to square one where kitchen centric terms relate to the assumed boring life of a married woman; yuck!) .Ok maybe I am still not in that phase( and may never be) to appreciate the way so many, like my mother think.

These celebrity wives on the new talk show by designers Abu and Sandeep are starry- eyed and gush over being the perfect subservient wives to their ultra successful husbands and accompany them in glittering society do's. That's not the end of it- I was scandalized when my mother expressed a desire to catch Oprah and her never ending' agony aunt' tales a few years back but maybe my mutinous and 'rolling of the eyes' look stopped her short( Thank god for that!).

The usual flicking of channels made me come across Gtalk on Mtv and five minutes into the show blew my brains out ( great,giggly,girly..oh please spare me the agony!!).

And as I found out last night that my soon going to be married cousin has changed his status to 'committed'; I wondered about this hooking business..the rhetorical popping of the question? majority of women in the shadows here too.Turn the tables (women emancipation?) what say?

As for me I am determined to hook and book for myself

and the women saga shows continue....

The Last Second

I am staring at the page....I am still staring at the page( I have been absent from the writing scene for quite sometime now;read: lazing around or no umm maybe my fingers just became numb from the extensive cold wave that has hit the city).

And so another year creeps in.The night of revelry, this time, made no difference to my cold and cough and pms ahem, ahem(no, I will not lose my optimism) and in between the advertisements( oh yes! I was tucked away cozily into my blanket watching Jack Sparrow sorry Captain Jack Sparrow live up to his eccentricity. He has been by far my favourite actor ) I retrospected on the tumultous year that just went by before the clock hands joined and rockets shot up to the sky.( I just realized without much concern for the fact that I rhymed back there)

The acerbic tone comes from the fact that I was stuck and maybe exhausted of being the mascot for singlehood(peer pressure does get to you sometimes) and I was getting stagnant creatively( which happens at most twice a year). The trauma of my debacles throughout the year and also it's really really cold ( and the lazy being that I am..) made me sink into the depths of my blanket.

And when the last second had struck my brother leaned over and hugged me .I tweaked up my nose and felt a cringing pain at the corner of my eyes and before I could howl away to glory, some small little part of me deep down inside bid goodbye to another year, another month, another week, another day, another minute, another second which had brought an immense difference to my life. 

And maybe more terrorism will be seen in the coming year,maybe the Israelis will go on more of their bombing spree and maybe the recession will not land me a job...but as I sit expecting the unexpected ( before howling over my brother's shoulder as I hug him); I expect(along with those unexpected expectations)  a little more change with every second, by every life, to bring about a little more sanity into our world.

And now my fingers have become numb...returning to the warm gloves.

however I will write the P.S. before that

P.S.-' thought' for my new year( I am not a serious one for resolutions) -staying single for as long as possible;.... atleast not this year.

Happy 2009 (  ahaa.. ..adds up to 11 and then to 2....makes no difference to me whatsoever).

(wink) .